Assault by Pie

I don't know how I missed this last week, but apparently New York Times columnist and Pulitzer Prize winning author Thomas L. Friedman was hit by pies while attempting to give an Earth Day speech at Brown University. Student Margaree Little, a senior English literature major, and an unidentified man apparently stormed the stage, letting loose green whipped cream pies. Now, I'm sure getting pies thrown at you is not fun (actually I'm not sure about this. I'm just trying to be dipolomatic. In fact, pies are delicious. It's not as though they threw shit pies at him. There are a lot worse things than being covered in whipped cream. Oh, I've said to much. Enough about my sex life). Regardless of your feelings about pie, I think we can all agree, it was a pretty harmless stunt. Come on, Tommy, would it kill you to crack a joke? He did try a little, I guess, when he licks his fingers and makes an approving face, but for the most part, the video is painful to watch. I keep waiting for him to punch someone in the face. And how about how he threw that guy's hankerchief on the floor after using it? That was just rude. I mean, he was probably going to take it home for Mrs. Professor to wash later.

The best (by which I mean worst) part? His comments after the fact. He won't be pressing charges, since he's "leaving it for Brown to decide what kind of values they want to uphold on their campus." First of all, what kind of charges do you press? Is there a law against pie throwing? Is a pie considered a deadly weapon? And what kind of values would Brown be upholding if they expelled their student(s)? That baked goods are bad? If pies are wrong, I don't want to be right.

YouTube video above for your enjoyment.

--Paige Sexie