Newman Party: The Review

Last night, the Von Tron family gathered for an intimate night of drinking with close friends. By which I mean, Ladyton, Publitron, and Babytron showed up to get wasted for free with all the other freeloading publicists at the Newman party. And, as predicted, it was awesome.

Anything at the bar was fair game, but with a two tricky (and easily loopholed) rules: no shots, no martinis. Bizarre, yes? However, the bartenders were more than accomadating in helping us cheat. A shot of makers mark because a makers on the rocks with the tiniest spash of coke. A vodka martini became vodka, vermouth, and olives with a cube of ice in a tumbler. And anything that a garnish could be added to, well, I mean it's hardly a shot if there's a twist of lime floating in there, right?

We're pleased to report that there was no buffet, but instead servers carried platters of trays around, and then placed the leftovers on the bar or back table for us to go back for seconds, thirds, and fourths. My personal favorite were the little mini-pizzas that looked like keish, until surprise! Bite in and get a mouthful of cheese, pizza sauce, and a little mini-sausage. Delish.

And, per usual, mingling with former co-workers, current friends, and new drunken besties - as well as old drunken besties, ie people that you have no memory of meeting at a past function because you were obvi too wasted to retain any info but they know your name and think that you're good friends and it's very embarassing. Not that that happened or anything. Ahem.

Moving right along. The final word? The party was awesome. Thanks again David Ratner and Newman folk for treating us to another wonderful night of drunken debauchery.

Love,

The Von Tron Publicity Family

Sloanch Recap

I know that you have all eagerly been awaiting the Slunch recap of Sloane's party last night. HOWEVER, Publitron seems to have submitted his synposis to galleycat instead - I think maybe they offered him money or something. Bastards. But, whatevs, here are some notes kindly submitted by Publitron's date, who I suspect has a secret crush on me. Kidding. But, no, really. I mean, you don't know who I am, but believe you me, I'm quite dashing.

Anyways, the list follows.

Do tell,

The Editor


Publitron's Date's List of Observations

1. Julia Allison let me pet her dog! Lily is adorable in person (in puppy?). She might have been my favorite part.

2. Mary Rambin is scary skinny. And I diskline being surrounded by people who are the size of my thigh bone. I also dislike being in a room of people dressed in outfits that cost what I made last year.

3. I was greatly angered when one of the hot waiters LIED to me. As he took my empty mojito glass, I said/slurred, "You're gonna bring more, right?" He assured me that another tray was coming out pronto. I waited for forever (five minutes) before deciding to investigate. Apparently, they had stopped serving, but were allowing you to get refills if you held onto your glass - which I totally would have had the hot waiter not LIED. Anyway, I was forced to swipe a dirty wine glass, wipe it out with my dress, and have them fill that. And before you judge me, there were a lot of people doing the same thing. Suddenly, everyone seemed to be drinking mojitos out of smudgy wine glasses.

4. Another problem with the staff? I questioned their judgement. A couple people were asked not to smoke pot in the stairwell - because the staff wasn't sure if people were allowed to stand there. Because, obviously, that's the real issue in that scenario.

5. I felt bad for the lady selling books - If she'd been selling glasses, she would have made a killing at the end.

6. There was a real lack of food. When you serve wine, there should be a cheese platter. That's party throwing 101.

7. Everyone is correct - Sloane's hair is very shiny.

In summation, cons were the staff, the lack of food, people better dressed and skinnier than I. The pros, shiny hair, JA's dog, and free booze. And as any good Slunch reader knows, in the case of a tie, the win goes to the side with free booze.

A Thousand Splendid Blogs-an open letter to Peter Sacks

Dear Peter:

A mutual fan asked me to comment on your remarkably insightful essay published on The Huffington Post. It was honest, to the point, and illuminates many of the problems with the industry as a whole, and our country of illiterates as well. (Also, I'd like to note that I was impressed you apologized for "the bitch" remark. Afraid of the Imus effect?) Regardless, take heart. There are avid non-fiction readers out there and you do have an important subject to educate us on.

However, what I found fascinating was that you never once mentioned the title of your book in that essay: Tearing Down the Gates: Confronting the Class Divide in American Education.

So, I'd like to give you a bit of advice.

1) Always mention your book! When you're being interviewed or writing something call back to your book with the simple phrase "As I say in my book...". I noticed one of the commenter's was wondering what the title of your book was. You got them interested, which is great. But how many readers left without asking what the title was or taking the time to read your bio?

2) You're a writer and writers write, not to publish bestselling novels. If it happens, great, but if not, you at least got published and paid for something you obviously love to do. While there are very few authors that make it to the elusive New York Times best seller list, there are thousands of would-be authors receiving rejection letters every month. The majority of authors I work with have a day job, and write because they love to or they have something to say. Remember why you're writing. Remember your message. If you keep these up front, and express them, everything else will come in time.

3) Sadly, you're with a University Press. While I'm not familiar with the University of California Press, and I've seen some University Presses get some great ink for their authors, books, and have a nice reputation for their lists, they don't have the gravitas of a major house. Publicists are only as good as their contacts, and if major media isn't beating down their door on one book, which opens it and gives them a chance to pitch their other authors and books, it's tough to get the attention of Oprah, or a morning show, or the other press you've lamented missing.

4) Shelf Life. Your book was published in May '07. Really, there's only a solid month of publicity that can be done around publication time that ties into your book while it is timely. However, your subject matter is something that is timeless (at least until we find ourselves in a Utopian society). Troll the news, the blogs, find anything that relates to your book and contact them. Tell them you're an expert on the subject and would be happy to comment.

5) 3 Letters: NPR. Ask your publicist to work with you to craft a great pitch letter to send to National and Local NPR producers. NPR listeners are great literate folk and the backbone of book sales. Your subject is perfect for many of their shows like Conversations from Wisconsin Public Radio or Talk of the Nation.

Well, I hope this helps. Currently your Amazon.com Sales Rank is: #47,067. Lets see if we can get that into the 4 digits together. If we do, you owe me a bottle of scotch.

Best of luck to you, Peter.

-PUBLITRON

BTW, in your essay you said "We are all bloggers who produce "content," and content is now a commodity." What you should know is that I write for this blog because I love to write, and I think I have something to say about the industry after all my years in it. This is my voice. I don't get paid for expressing my opinion. I do so simply because I can, I want to, I need to, and best of all, because you're listening even if you don't agree.