Jackie's gonna regret that...

Ah, Jackie Levin. Who hasn't placed constant emails, begging for placement on the Today Show for one of your authors? Yes, I know that you will never do anything with my little debut novelist, but hey, it's nice to try, right? And, really, I'm not offended that you rarely respond to my pitches. You are a busy lady, Ms. Levin, and I know that, one day, when you like one of my ideas, we will be friends. Or, at least when I work on Tina Fey's new book and you beg me for coverage (note: I do not actually work for the company that just paid millions for a non-existent book by Ms. Palin's doppelganger).

But, Jackie, I think you may of made an error in your recent interview with the 26th Story, when you said (in response to: Is it possible for a self-published author to get on the Today show?) this:

Absolutely...I have always said books are another vehicle for us to find great stories/segments, and if one happens to come from someone who published on their own, that's fine with me as long as all the facts in the book check out. If an author has the wherewithal to find me and pitch me, good for them, but at the same time, they have to be able to handle a "no" without having that buffer called "a publicist."

Oh my. See, here's a little secret. All authors would harass book reviewers, producers, etc. by themselves if they could. But we, as publicists, forbid it. Not because we want to do it ourselves. I'm happy to let other people do my work for me. It's simply that we are trying to protect you from the onslaught of inappropriate pitches, harassment from authors who have "nothing" to lose (we have your respect and our chances of ever getting ANY author on the show at risk), etc. We are trying to provide that extra filter for you. And how do we do that? By telling authors that you will ignore them. That you don't want to hear from them. That contacting you directly will HURT their chances, not help them.

But now, you've basically let them know that this is really just a free for all. And, well, I'm afraid that I just can't help you anymore. Godspeed, Ms. Levin, and I pray that your inbox does not implode.

--Ladytron

[This is a couple days behind the curve, but to be fair, Ladytron sent it to me on Monday. I just posted it late. My bad. --Ed.]