Speaking of Sloane...

Sloane dicusses if the NY publishing world is mean. Well, we are, but she handles it nicely...

Leaked: Sample from Emily Gould

Afterwards we sit on the fire escape half-naked and smoke a cigarette. Because he spends so much time working out, his smoking seems glamorous --louche and earned, not depressing and desperate like my ex-boyfriend's. He passes the cigarette to me and looks away, letting the sunset caress his profile and make him look like a still from a French movie, his face in sharp focus against the tenement blocks and the taller towers in the distance, dark against the streaky pink summer sky. I exhale into a breeze that feels like a caress. The day has cooled and now the air is the exact temperature as the blood that's slowing its race through my veins. I slump against him and feel his body stiffen almost imperceptibly. He has five more minutes and then he really has to leave for wrestling, and besides, sex never seems to relax him. Sometimes, I've noticed, he wakes up in the morning with balled fists.

Hmm. It's just so easy. Now, I know we've given Sloane a lot of shit in the past, but wow. This leaked excerpt from Emily Gould's book proposal just gave me a whole new level of respect for Ms. Crosely. At least the samples I read from Sloane (no, I never read the book. yes, I am a hypocrite) were amusingly self-deprecating. And maybe some of Emily stories (told through her TATTOOS. um, yeah.) will be as well. But if it's gonna be a whole book of prose written in the style of a 14 year old girl trying to be deep, well then. The air is the exact temperature as the blood that's slowing its race through my veins? I call bullshit. Was the air 98.6 degrees? 'cause that's by no means "cool." Or is Emily Gould's core body temperature freakishly low? Is that why her writing is so sluggish?

Also, any bets on who the boy is? Based on the pics of Gawker/Page 6 writer Joshua David Stein and his muscley torso, I'm going with Josh. Which means ex-boyfriend is probably poor Hugh. You remember Hugh, right? Of course you do! Emily talked all about him and how she flirted inappropriately with Josh while they were till together? In that NY Times Magazine piece? Remember? Of course you do.

Anyway, to quote Emily, "While nothing that has happened to me in and of itself has been that noteworthy: Lots of young people have lived in big cities, and have had an assortment of strange and ordinary jobs… there are some truths about doing these things and about writing about them online that haven't yet been expressed."

That's true, dear. Nothing has been noteworthy. Which is why people hated your piece in the Sunday Magazine. And which is why they will tear apart your book. And while perhaps there are "some truths" that haven't been expressed, that doesn't mean they should be.

--Paige Sexie

Randoms

Author Janet Evanovich is stuck wearing a hand brace after signing too many books. Maybe she should take tips from Shatner? Also, how do I get 1000 plus people to show up to my authors' events?

Ooo, also, on a completely unrelated note, Salman Rushdie was knighted! I bet Padma wishes she's stayed with him now. Then maybe she could be "Lady Lakshmi."

--LADYtron

Things people spend money on

A first edition of Emma sold at auction for a lot of money. I can't read stories like this any more without remembering that whole Mark Hofmann thing. The crazy Mormon forgerer who basically defrauded the Morman church and a shit-ton of auction houses/experts. Oh, and then killed some people and almost got blown up himself trying to cover up all his forgeries. Awesome.

Anyway, turns out that auction houses can totally be shady and don't really "verify" stuff as well as they should, and don't really guarantee that the stuff they sell is legit - just that they think it is. Which is totally ridiculous. Not that I'm doubting that this 180,000 pound (was is the exchange rate now? that's probably like a million american dollars. we should just start burning our money or using it as wallpaper. christ) sale was not legit. It just reminds me of that story. I'm not really sure where I was going with that. Ah, well. Point is, it was the highest price ever paid for an Austen novel so "anonymous" must be a big fan. I wonder if he or she would pay me for my early edition VHS tape of Clueless. Maybe if I could get it signed by Alicia Silverstone or something.

Seriously, though. If you had 180,000 pounds, would you really spend it on a really old book? 'Cause I think I would spend it on something shiny and new that doesn't smell like mold. Just saying.

--Ladytron

Random tidbits that are upsetting me.

I forgot to eat breakfast, so I feel stabby.

Emily Gould is shopping a book.

John McCain's campaign has a facebook game - and I actually downloaded it.

Keith Gessen is being interviewed on "Bookworm."

The Old Hag got a book deal based off of Jezebel posts (actually, I really like those posts, but a book, really?? Although, I suppose it's no more ridiculous than this. Or this. Or this.)

Cody's is closing for good.

My authors who refuse to understand why an established indie bookstore wouldn't want a debut, non-local author for an event. (sorry, no link for this. it just is)

The existence of The Shack, and how it will encourage thousands of deluded "writers" that they too can become bestsellers with no publisher, no support, and no publicist.

U.S. News & World Report's list of ways to deal with an office of 20-somethings. And the comments that other old farts added. Seriously, just give us some money and some respect, and we'll all get along just fine.

It's Wednesday - scientifically proven to be the longest day of the week.

Blech,

The Editor

Sangria + Summer Fridays = Heaven

The kids over at Global Literary Managment are hosting a sangria shindig to celebrate the wonder that is (are?) Summer Fridays.

This Friday, 2 pm, their offices (37 West 20th Street, Suite 805). Go crazy.

Do tell,

The Editor

Sloane to HBO?

We can only pray that it won't be as horrific as Jonathan Ames's pilot for Showtime.

--Slunchie