Oh noes...not Samantha!

Have you heard the horrible news? The American Girl Company is apparently doing away with one of the original dolls: Samantha Parkington. Now, I never had Samantha. My friend Katie did. And my friend Lauren had Molly. My friend Amanda had Kirsten. I had Felicity. Now, she wasn't one of the three, but she was the fourth! So, whatever. It counts.

Anyway, this shock led me to visit the American Girl website for the first time since, well, ever. I'm old school. I used to get those giant catalogues in the mail once a month, and put stars next to the ridiculously expensive accesories that I hoped my mom would get me for christmas. This was before you could get matching outfits or "bitty babies" (what the hell) or "just like you" dolls. Hell, I remember when the girls only had THREE books each (they have six now).

Oh, and I totally owned this. And this. And so many dresses like this. Omg, now I can't wait for Thanksgiving to tear apart my mother's neatly organized pile of "My daughter's crap I can't give to her because she lives in a tiny apartment in NY" looking for all of it!!

Whew. Ok, sorry. What was my point? Um...oh, yeah, the Samanth books will continue. They're published by, uh, oh, American Girl. Convenient. So, good. Eee, I love you, Felicity!

--Ladytron

The new LOL cats?

Someone just turned me on to the new tumblr, Upside Down Dogs. Could this be the new I Can Has Cheezburger? Paging Gotham Books...

--Promotron

Denis Leary vs Autism

Hmm, apparently the Autism Society of America is all in a tiff because Denis Leary's new book, Why We Suck: A Feel-Good Guide to Staying Fat, Loud, Lazy and Stupid, contains a rant on, well, autism:

"There is a huge boom in autism right now because inattentive mothers and competitive dads want an explanation for why their dumb-ass kids can't compete academically, so they throw money into the happy laps of shrinks . . . to get back diagnoses that help explain away the deficiencies of their junior morons. I don't give a [bleep] what these crackerjack whack jobs tell you - yer kid is NOT autistic. He's just stupid. Or lazy. Or both."

Ok, yes, sure, it's insensitive. I'm sure Jenny McCarthy is crying somewhere. But, come on, guys. It's Denis fucking Leary. Here are a few choice quotes from the man himself over the years:

“I think we should take Iraq and Iran and combine them into one country and call it Irate. All the pissed off people live in one place and get it over with.”

"We live in a country where John Lennon takes six bullets in the chest, Yoko Ono was standing right next to him, not ONE FUCKING BULLET! Explain that to me God!"

"That's why I'm glad Jesus died when he did. Because if he lived to be 40, he would have ended up like Elvis. He was famous already at that point. If he lived to be 40, he'd be walking around Jerusalem with a big fat beer gut and black side burns going, Damn, I'm the son of God. Give me a cheeseburger and french fries right now. "

So, um, Denis Leary isn't afraid of Jesus, the Middle East, or Yoko. I don't think the Autism Society is going to upset him too much.

--Promotron

Sloane Eats Cake

This week's literary event is the Sloane Crosley, Nathaniel Rich, and Sean Wilsey at Cakeshop (get it? CAKEshop? because, you know, I Was Told There Would be Cake. ha.). Apparently, there will also be music from the Neverbeens.

I won't be there as I will be home with a bottle of wine and the debate, but hey, I've deprived you guys of a literary event for a several weeks now, so here you go.

Don't say I don't love you.

Do Tell,

The Editor