Friday, September 12, 2008

Joy of Sex (UPDATED!)

OMG, The Joy of Sex has been updated. How effing cool is that? Psychologist Susan Quilliam has added 43 new sections and put a larger focus on bringing joy to the ladies. Apparently, the original had just four sentences on the clitoris so obvi, that had to change. We've also got info on cybersex and equine roleplay (really?). The power of the big toe remains, which, btw, is totally news to me. But, apparently, "The pad of the male big toe applied to the clitoris or the vulva generally is a magnificent erotic instrument." Damn! I have been missing out. Although do you ask your partner to wash his feet first? I mean, what if he's been wearing flip-flops? Do I want NYC street germs rubbing against my private parts? Sigh. So many questions.

Oh, bizarrely, there's also a section devoted to penis injuries caused by vacuum cleaners. Ouch!

--Paige Sexie

Publicity Relations Explained via The Swivet

This was just passed along to me, and I thought you guys would appreciate in. Colleen Lindsay has started a Pimpin' Your Book series over at The Swivet, and one of her latest entries is about how to work effectively with your publicist. Recommended reading for all current and want-to-be authors. Some choice tips:

1. Don't be a prima donna: Nobody likes a prima donna. Think about about what you're asking for before you ask. Is it really necessary or did someone tell you that this is what you're supposed to ask for as an author? Difficult, high-maintenance authors develop a reputation with publicists, booksellers, producers, media escorts and other authors.

2. Don't call your publicist several times a day with new questions. Don't send your publicist more than one email a day. Instead, gather up as many of your questions as possible into one email, and then wait for an answer before sending off another.

3. Don't forget to say thank you: It's not necessary to buy your publicist or editor or marketing person a gift. But it's absolutely proper to send a thank-you note or email after your campaign is over. And you'd be surprised at how often authors don't do this. Say thank you. It'll go a very long way toward earning you respect as a professional.

There's also an explanation of the publicity timeline, etc. but I have decided that the above really are the most important. Don't be a pain in my ass and buy me stuff (technically not necessary but I will like you better). We'll get along just fine.

Do tell,

The Editor

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Crack: Apparently Not Whack

Umm, when did crack become the new black? Seriously people. CRACK? Look, I like some drugs as much as the next person, but, guys, it's one thing to smoke a joint with friends or a do a line of coke at a's another to start carrying around a crack pipe. Where do you even buy crack? How do you even stumble into this? Like, one day, you're leaving Babbo and are all, oh, hey, I think I'll buy some crack from that dude over there. Looks like fun. Christ almightly.

Oh, yeah, sorry. That rant was caused by the fact that, right on the heels of New York Times journalist David Carr's admission that he was womanizing, abusive, and all around bad person/crack addict, Bill Clegg is also coming out of the crack closet. We all remember when he disappeared in 2005, although I don't really remember caring very much. Well, apparently, he was off doing crack and then getting clean. But do I care?

Did these guys just read A Million Little Pieces and think, dude, I can totally up that, and mine will be true? Or is there really just a big market out there for the old "I'm a drug addict" memoir? Are we all so interested in seeing just how far people will fall before they come back and write a tell-all book about the experience? If so, I gotta up my alcohol abuse so I can get a sweet book deal out of it. Oh wait.


Pasta and Cigarettes

Awww, this story just made my cold heart melt a little. The Times did a profile piece on legendary chef and cookbook author Marcella Hazan and her husband, Victor. The two are publishing a memoir next month (her words, his translation) from Gotham Books called Amarcord: Marcella Remembers. Although the couple is known for their fights (with each other as well as people who have worked with them in the past), the article makes it clear that the two are still very much in love -- and each other's inspirations. The best part is? Marcella lifestyle includes "a parade of Marlboro Lights and afternoon shots of Gentleman Jack whiskey."

Did I mention that she is 84? I'm not sure what I'm most jealous of: her ability to cook delish food, her longterm marriage, all the money she must have, or the fact that she's 84 and still able to live on cigarettes and bourbon.


Sarah Palin and the Handmaid's Tale

Bt dubs, Jezebel has an interesting post comparing the candidacy of Sarah Palin to Margaret Atwood's The Handmaid's Tale. It's a bit stretching in parts, but interesting none the less.

The conclusion is this: But Palin does want to deprive women of the right to decide what we do with our bodies. And as The Handmaid's Tale shows, women who want to take power away from women should be careful what they wish for.

Do tell,

The Editor

And the world just got a little bit more ridic

Lauren Conrad (fashion "designer" and star of "reality" show The Hills) just signed a three-book deal with Harper Collins to write a YA series based on her life. The worst part is, I'm totally going to read it. It's going to be horrific, but so is the show and I just can't seem to turn away. Oooo, what if they make a movie based on the book that's based on the life she pretends to lead on her show? I think I just broke my brain with that one...


ps. LC has apparently already outlined the first book. I wonder if she's using the book above as a reference?

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Sutherland doesn't like curried books after all

So, yesterday, I started writing this totes amusing post about book critic John Sutherland and how he backed down from his original claim that "If The Enchantress of Florence doesn't win this year's Man Booker I'll curry my proof copy and eat it."

As everyone has heard by now, Rushdie's newest novel was not nominated (according to jury chair Michael Portillo, "In the opinion of [the judges] taken together, Salman Rushdie's was not one of the top six books for us. We didn't have a huge debate about it."), and Sutherland has totally backed down.

But, since I was a little slow to actually finish the post and send it to the Editor to put up, I have realized that NY Mag's Vulture section already wrote it for me. Rather than try to top them, I'll just repost it here for your reading pleasure (I have also stolen their handy art work).

Back in April, reviewing Salman Rushdie's most recent novel in the pages of the Financial Times, book critic John Sutherland — even though he admitted to not understanding its plot — made this bold promise: "If The Enchantress of Florence doesn't win this year's Man Booker I'll curry my proof copy and eat it." Today, however, after the Rushdie-less Booker short list was announced, Sutherland reneged: "I vowed — publicly — to curry and eat my proof copy of The Enchantress of Florence if it didn't win. It won't. And I won't. So there." Shameful! We suppose we could understand if he were backing out of eating a tough, chewy stitch-bound hardcover first edition — but this is a soft-cover proof copy! Those things are delicious!

S&S is going to hell

Apparently Simon Spotlight Entertainment has a new book coming out which has royally pissed off the Catholic Church. In "101 Places To Have Sex Before You Die," one of the places listed is in a confessional booth. My favorite quote? From Catholic League president Bill Donohue: "The kind of people who would have sex in the confessional would also have sex in a graveyard. And I don't mean with each other." Zing!

I personally can't wait to get my hands on a copy (call me!), which apparently has a check-list and a place for notes. I'm hoping that I've had sex in at least 20% of the places...although at this point, I'm sad to say, I can't cross the confessional booth off. But, hey, there's still plenty of time and plenty of sex to be had!

--Paige Sexie

Monday, September 8, 2008

Rakesh's Birthday

This week's literary event is the Golden Birthday of everyone's favorite editor, singer, and novelist ... Mr. Rakesh Satyal. Since his evite list already includes over 400 of his nearest and dearest, I figured he wouldn't mind a slunch shout-out and a couple extra people present to buy him drinks. The Brooklyn Inn, this Saturday, 9 pm. See you there!