Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Sloanch Recap

I know that you have all eagerly been awaiting the Slunch recap of Sloane's party last night. HOWEVER, Publitron seems to have submitted his synposis to galleycat instead - I think maybe they offered him money or something. Bastards. But, whatevs, here are some notes kindly submitted by Publitron's date, who I suspect has a secret crush on me. Kidding. But, no, really. I mean, you don't know who I am, but believe you me, I'm quite dashing.

Anyways, the list follows.

Do tell,

The Editor

Publitron's Date's List of Observations

1. Julia Allison let me pet her dog! Lily is adorable in person (in puppy?). She might have been my favorite part.

2. Mary Rambin is scary skinny. And I diskline being surrounded by people who are the size of my thigh bone. I also dislike being in a room of people dressed in outfits that cost what I made last year.

3. I was greatly angered when one of the hot waiters LIED to me. As he took my empty mojito glass, I said/slurred, "You're gonna bring more, right?" He assured me that another tray was coming out pronto. I waited for forever (five minutes) before deciding to investigate. Apparently, they had stopped serving, but were allowing you to get refills if you held onto your glass - which I totally would have had the hot waiter not LIED. Anyway, I was forced to swipe a dirty wine glass, wipe it out with my dress, and have them fill that. And before you judge me, there were a lot of people doing the same thing. Suddenly, everyone seemed to be drinking mojitos out of smudgy wine glasses.

4. Another problem with the staff? I questioned their judgement. A couple people were asked not to smoke pot in the stairwell - because the staff wasn't sure if people were allowed to stand there. Because, obviously, that's the real issue in that scenario.

5. I felt bad for the lady selling books - If she'd been selling glasses, she would have made a killing at the end.

6. There was a real lack of food. When you serve wine, there should be a cheese platter. That's party throwing 101.

7. Everyone is correct - Sloane's hair is very shiny.

In summation, cons were the staff, the lack of food, people better dressed and skinnier than I. The pros, shiny hair, JA's dog, and free booze. And as any good Slunch reader knows, in the case of a tie, the win goes to the side with free booze.

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