Thursday, September 4, 2008

Oh, Lynne

Jesus, Lynne. It's not enough that you drove both of your children into the horrific world of show biz, apparently couldn't teach little Jamie Lynne about birth control, and totally abandoned your eldest daughter when she went crazy? I mean, at least there's no "Living Spears" show out there, but I'm sure if you'd thought of it before Dina Lohan, you would have been all over that shit.

And now, your "parenting memoir" (which I believe is how it was originally shopped around) is basically a tell-all about your mentally unstable daughter who is only better because her former-boozy dad stepped into to save her? Have you no shame woman?

And now, because I apparently have no shame either, some tid bits from the leaked pages:
  1. Brit lost her virginity at 14 to her high school football boyfriend. He was 18 (ahem. statutory rape. cough). So I guess Justin didn't get to take her v-card after all.

  2. Brit started drinking back in the Mouseketeer days - at 13. Christ, even I didn't get drunk for the first time until I was 15...

  3. ...which is apparently the age when Britney discovered drugs, after going to L.A. to record Baby One More Time (which I own and still listen to. "You drive me craaaaazy.")

  4. At 16, Brit stepped it up a notch and was caught with coke and pot on a private jet.
Oh, also, Lynne feels REAL BAD about the whole thing and kinda blames herself. Yeah, so does everyone else, Lynne. So does everyone else. At least you didn't put a picture of Brit being wheeled off to crazytown on the cover. That's about the nicest thing I can say at this point.

--Paige Sexie


Ladytron said...

I like how it says "Mother of Jamie Lynn, Bryan, and Britney Spears" on the cover. Like the best thing she did was get knocked up a few times and then ruin her kids' lives. Also, does anyone give a shit about poor Bryan?

I'm totally going to read this.

Babytron said...

I was totally thinking the same thing! WHAT ABOUT BYRAN! I love how they stuck his name in the middle...When's his memoir coming out? ha!

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